You never fail to surprise me.

You really just don’t get it do you?

 

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Confused.

So much has happened in the past week, it’s all a big blur to me. I never thought something like this would happen, but I guess in a way, I saw it coming.

I think I’ve changed a lot over the past year and few years. And sometimes it scares me.
I look in the mirror and sometimes I don’t know who’s looking back at me. I’ve realized that yes, I have changed a lot, and as of now, I’m still changing. So I guess I just haven’t found out who I am yet.
It’s so weird to look back at old pictures and think to myself “What happened to that girl? Where is she now?” Thoughts like that scare me.

I’m just confused with everything that is going on right now. So many things are being thrown at me, I don’t know  how to react or feel. In a way I’m numb. I’m trying to go at everything in the best way possible and be mature but I don’t know if what I’m doing is right. And I’ll probably never know.

I’m scared for the future, I am. But I need to get myself to realize that it’s going to come no matter what and I can’t control it. I need to start living my life now, in the moment, and  stop worrying so much about what’s next.

But I am worried, I can’t just throw this huge part of me away. I need it to stay in my life.
I want more than anything to never have to say goodbye to it.